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Amanda & DAN

How can anyone reconcile such a devastating loss? How do we even make sense of it? Even so, there was something so beautifully redemptive to watch two souls promise "for better or for worse," knowing full well that they'd already experienced the latter, to watch them laugh and cry, and bear witness to both the depth of their love- and their loss. When we talk about "sacred ground," I have to believe this is what we mean.


 When her school didn’t provide her with a homebound teacher, Erin  taught herself Algebra 2. She also had her mom- a cardiac nurse- give her fluids before her senior prom to help get her through the few hours there with her friends, then she had a picc line and pole placed for the after party. As an athlete, being benched by her own body just wasn't an option.

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We all knew that this wasn't a typical newborn shoot.  There were cheesecloth wraps and delicate headbands, the noise machine, posing pillow- all of the newborn session essentials were there and checked off.

But the most important piece, actually, was a small pair of brown, leather cowboy boots.

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One of the many tattoos adorning Kaity's body is one that she got during her second battle with Ovarian cancer- the symbol for the Hebrew word "heneni," which means"Here I am." I think back to her instagram post on her 39th birthday- proclaiming it to be her bravest year yet.

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As the days went by, much of my grief manifested itself in anxiety. I couldn't go into a store on my own. I once stood waiting at the entrance of a restaurant when my husband went to park the car- my C section recovery still hindering long walks. I stood there choking back the tears while people funneled into the trendy dinner spot.

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