"Beautiful Undoing" (This Is Eight)

Okay, sappy mom post ahead. Brace yourselves accordingly. :) Several years ago, I wrote a piece about a dear family and in it, I reiterated the fact that every time a baby is born, so is their mama- regardless if it's her second, fifth, or eleventh child. The truth is that we're never the exact same parent to each of our kids (which is both terrifying, but also reassuring). Here's the thing: I was terrified of having baby #2. I was even more terrified when I learned it was a boy. Eleven months in, I had literally just begun to figure out how to be a mom of one (or so I had convinced myself!) Ella and I were in a good groove and I liked the illusion of control I had over my schedule and my body. Before I found out I was pregnant with Milo, I felt like there was enough of me for everyone that needed me then. Of course I was tired, but I wasn't that tired. (Retrospect is a funny thing, right?) Milo's birth was my beautiful undoing. Truly. His arrival wrecked me in all of the best ways possible, and also in ways I never thought possible. Aside from the fact that he has one of the kindest hearts of any little human I know and quite possibly the best smile, to boot, he made me the stronger, more resilient, more compassionate mom that I wasn't with Ella. It wasn't easy, at times, by any stretch. But oh, the payoff.

(Above pic by the talented Kristin Moore) <3

Milo's birthday is also significant for me because it essentially marked the beginning of my journey as a photographer. It was his impending arrival that prompted me to purchase my first DSLR camera. At the time, I simply wanted to be able to take more (and better) pictures of my kids with something other than my iphone, and had no intentions of ever creating a business out of it. And truth be told, even if all of my clients disappeared and I never booked another professional shoot again, I wouldn't change a thing. It's safe to say I'd still be chasing my crew around the house with the camera or bribing them to hop in the car during golden hour to find some pretty light (sorry not sorry, kids!)

Happy Birthday to the boy who will forever be my sunshine! Love you, buddy. XOXO

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And now, you can choose to stop scrolling.......or you can keep going and see a whole bunch of Milo through the years (including a picture from his first birthday shoot). I mean, it's our job as his mamas to take these sentimental trips down memory lane every birthday, right??

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